I puked a lego.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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