Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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