Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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