My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think your dad took our porno
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
