Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
