Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize