Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Redeem this text for a blowjob
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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