just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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