Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
vagina is talking i cant
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Randomize
