Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize