Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
