Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
