that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
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Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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