And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize