i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
