talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
