Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
