How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
