I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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