Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
