Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Someone shattered a urinal.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
