dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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