Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
