You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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