Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
