I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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