you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
