i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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