I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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