So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize