Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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