It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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