Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
