The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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