I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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