Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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