My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
