thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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