He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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