did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
