She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
