just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
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