Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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