I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
