How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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