seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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