I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
