I hate all girls vehemently.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
