Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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