Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
