Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
