Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
