I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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