A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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