She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
it hurts more in the daytime
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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