I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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