There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
