i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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