I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
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It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
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It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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