Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
