Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
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Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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