i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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