She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
